American Pastime
by smartcookie712
Summary: Steve, using his new knowledge of TVs, stumbles across something not so foreign to him: baseball. Superfluous fluff. Pepperony is the only pairing. Loki is an Avenger as well. T for cursing because, well, fans are obnoxious.


Steve Rogers lay face down on the couch of the lounge of Avengers Tower, thinking about technology. The new-fangled gadgets and gizmos physically hurt his brain to just _think_ of how they even worked. He pondered asking Tony or Bruce again, but that resulted in a long winded explanation of so-called "quantum physics" that Steve cared absolutely zero about. Natasha and Clint were actually quite helpful with getting not only him, but Thor and Loki acquainted with modern technology. After some time, Loki had come to Bruce and Tony's level of understanding while Steve and Thor marveled at their smartphones. Nat and Clint never minded being the most modern with Steve and Thor, anyways, what with Mr. Stark parading around _his_ tower. So naturally, Steve was grateful, but confused nonetheless.

Until one day, with his new knowledge of JARVIS, Steve turned on the television. He swiped through the channels - quite literally, he might add - impressed with the drama of so called "soap operas" before he laid eyes on the glorious network of ESPN.

The "Entertainment and Sports Programming Network" did not fail to entertain Steve with his favorite sports in 60 minutes. How everything had changed! Football players no longer wore leather helmets and instead gave each other concussions. Hockey players were beating each other up on the ice and losing teeth from pucks. Soccer players (in Brazil) beheaded a referee after he stabbed a player in self-defense. Basketball players were almost seven feet tall, not to mention shattering glass backboards. And here were players, "doping", removing their blood to put it back in for some kind of "rush"? Steve was both enthralled and slightly disturbed.

But the discussion changed topic to something closer to home for Steve - baseball.

Steve scrambled from his spot on the couch to sit cross legged a foot away from the TV like a child watching an animated movie. Pepper chose that time to walk in, berating Natasha and Clint about the alcohol consumption of the seven of them, when the threesome caught sight of Steve.

"Oh god, he's got ESPN. My services are longer needed," Pepper threw up her hands and slipped from the room. Natasha and Clint proceded to throw themselves on the couch by Steve.

"So, buddy, looks like someone's found sports," Clint commented.

"Oh, yes!" Steve turned to them in glee. "But I'm afraid they aren't what they were," he returned to the tv looking crestfallen.

"Actually, Steve," Bruce commented from the doorway, standing beside Tony as the pair walked in, "the MLB just suspended fourteen players for PED use."

Steve's acronym confusion was easy to see. "The MLB is Major League Baseball and PEDs are performance enhancing drugs," Nat explained.

"I say we all go to a baseball game!" Tony said excitedly, the cogs spinning in his mind already.

"A BASEBALL GAME? WHAT IS THIS 'BASEBALL GAME' YOU SPEAK OF?" Thor thundered from the hallway, entering from the training room with Loki, who facepalmed.

"_Clearly_ it's a mortal game, you insufferable oaf," he deadpanned.

Steve excitedly motioned for the pair to sit down, launching into a detailed description of baseball with a triumphant, "I KNOW ABOUT STUFF!"

Meanwhile, Tasha and Clint started a discussion with Tony and Bruce about where to take the team for a game. "I say Yankee Stadium, I mean, Alex Rodriguez's a kickass player," Tony persisted.

"He's fighting a 211 game suspension for PED use and denies children the extra baseballs after the inning," Tasha deadpanned, pulling up said footage.

"Plus, I kind of- almost- well, not really- I almost destroyed Shea Stadium before their last game," Bruce admitted sheepishly.

"I always thought A-Rod was a jerk and the Yankees sucked."

Clint rolled his eyes. "Mets is a no, they came after Cap's time. Boston?"

"Too big of a stadium... Plus the Brooklyn Dodgers are the L.A. Dodgers now-" Nat was cut off by a shout from Steve.

"The Brooklyn Dodgers are- are in _L.A._ now?!"

"Sorry Capsicle, but the owner couldn't get a stadium in NY, and LA made a better offer."

Steve growled for a second before turning back to Thor and Loki, who looked excited and mildly intrigued, respectively.

Tony pulled up a list of MLB teams, crossing off as they went. Pittsburgh was out; Clint and Nat had a "minor scuffle" in the city and techincally "weren't wanted there." (Tony would have to read those SHIELD files later.) San Fran was out because Natasha used to "date" the owner or someone and had realized she had the wrong person just before she was about to kill him. In the midst of arguing over the Miami Marlins, Pepper walked back in with Coulson.

"I figured you'd need clearance and a 'supervisor other than Pepper'," she mocked Fury's condescending tone, "so I brought Coulson along. Plus he does baseball, and well, I don't."

Coulson pointed at the holo of teams. "Not Miami, Miami sucks this year. 26 games out," he shook his head sadly. "If you wanna stay out of sight of the public- and out of the wrath of Fury- you're gonna need a team thats not doing so well- but not so sucky that they haven't won the last six games, like Miami." Loki looked slightly saddened, as he had heard Miami was "the place that keeps the roof blazin'".

"No, you're gonna need a team that's pretty much out of the runnings for the playoffs, but not far enough that the fans have lost hope. The fans are all a part of the experience too. But you don't want a team that's so good, there's no seats. Plus, it'd help Steve if the team was around in his time. Trust me, I know the _perfect_ place," Coulson's know-all smile grew into a smug smirk. "The Philadelphia Phillies."

"Plus, I grew up in Philly suburbs, so you could say I know my way around. I just took some of my sister's kids there about a month ago, too," Pepper commented.

"So it's settled then?" Bruce asked as Tony pulled up a 3D image of the stadium, picking apart the seats.

Everyone turned to Steve for approval. With a smug smirk on his face, he slowly nodded.

"But Diiiiiiirectooooooor!" Tony wailed.

"Whining gets you nowhere, Stark," Nat and Loki repeated simultaneously, Nat inspecting her nails and Loki staring at the ceiling tiles.

"No means no, Stark," Fury not-so-calmly reiterated.

"Hey, wait," Bruce interrupted as planned. "Didn't you want to get Steve back into the world? This is the perfect chance to start with something he knows about! Plus, he could engage in explaining it to Loki and Thor, get them engaged in our world too."

"I have no desire to partake in your mortal athletics," Loki snapped as rehearsed, having grown interested in the 'mortal athletics.'

"Brother," Thor sighed exageratedly.

Fury glanced quickly at Hill, who gave the director a slight nod. Fury turned back to the group, not wanting to give in but not wanting to face Steve's puppy dog eyes either. "Fine. But, Coulson must accompany you, as will Pepper. I don't expect anything to happen- it is a baseball game, after all, not a red carpet event, but try any crazy antics like _flying the suit onto the field_ and I will have your head faster than you can say no one saw. Do you hear me?" Everyone nodded eagerly, pleased that the plan had worked. Fury exhaled slowly as they paraded out of the room, turning to Maria.

"They won't start anything," she affirmed. Fury let out another breath, nodding and looking comforted. He didn't know she was in on the plan to get him to cave as well.

It was settled in a matter of clicks, calls, and checks. The Avengers Seven, Pepper, and Coulson had a box above the home dugout, accompanied with buffet hot dogs, pizza, pretzels, ice cream, cotton candy, water ice, peanuts and soda. Alcohol was included, but Fury had sent the stadium a check of his own with specific instructions to not on any condition sell any of them more than one alcoholic beverage, unbeknownst to the group.

Steve, Clint, Tasha, Tony, Bruce and Coulson spent the week and a half leading up to the game plaguing Loki, Thor and Pepper with stats, facts, and rules on the game. Steve grew more excited every day, infecting the group with joy they couldn't really explain. Even Loki and Pepper were enthusiastic.

Many late night games in Central Park and a broken stiletto for Pepper (before she broke in her fancy new sneakers, that is) later, and the game was upon them. It was especially exciting for two reasons: one, the manager could possibly nag his 1000th win tonight and two, the team that won the World Series twenty years ago was back for a pre game ceremony- an event that elicited another round of statistics from the group.

The group of nine piled into the private jet and rumbled its way to the Philadelphia Airport, causing a _minor_ press frenzy before Loki created illusions of them to head to the restrooms so the real nine could slip away, leaving paparazzi to crowd the restroom doors when the illusions disappeared.

Pepper was estatic about the "ccccuuuuuutee!" little house in the New Jersey suburbs she rented for them. Tasha and Bruce agreed that it was indeed "quaint" and Steve gushed about how he had wanted a house like this outside of New York. Tony grumbled about how "old timer houses never have any AI systems, what is the world we are coming to, isn't this the 21st century, blah blah blah." Clint was slightly miffed about the lack of balcony on the house but managed okay with the large oak and maple trees on the property. Thor was delighted at the quaintness of the house as well as it reminded him of his vacationing cottage on Asgard. Coulson approved of the amount of foliage slightly concealing the house from the street. Loki just liked a green house.

Concealing an emergency handgun in her purse- mostly for Nat and not herself- Pepper set out on a self appointed fashion check. She herself donned a simple red v-neck with a gray camisole and dark jeans with sneakers. She approved the gear of each person, only stopping to keep Clint from wearing a "World Phucking Champions" shirt from the 2008 World Series win, Tony from putting his hat on backwards and looking like a fool, and Loki from wearing a green button down and black slacks. Grudingly, he kept the slacks and opted for a gray team shirt instead. Returning to Pepper for reapproval, he noted that she was not wearing memorabilia either. With a smug grin he loudly inquired as to why she was not wearing a team shirt, attracting the attention of most of the Avengers and leading to her being outnumbered and forced into wearing a hat and pinstripe shirt that "messed up her hair" and was "itchy as _hell_".

Steve bounced up and down as he exited the car, fidgeting with his ticket as he waited for the team to get going already. Coulson gave him the go ahead to _go_ before he bounced so hard he broke the damn pavement. As he approached the ticket taker, he was stopped in his tracks by his senses, the senses of his home.

In seventy years, baseball stadiums had not lost their senses. The scent of hot sweat and grime, warm, salty peanuts, freshly mown grass, and roasting hot dogs; the sight of golden late afternoon sun glimmering on blue plastic seats, rainbows of cloud-like cotton candy, and children dashing about to catch a ball from batting practice; the taste of the chilled ice cream, the warm buns and dogs, the caramelized and buttered popcorns, and the salty pretzels; the sound of bats cracking on contact, the whistle of a fastball, the sizzle of various foods, the children squealing at the mascots; and the feel of the grain of a baseball bat, the leather on a glove, the dirt smeared on a uniform, and the dig of cleats all assaulted Steve. For a moment he was sucked back to the '40s, recalling a game Bucky had taken him to, his friend towering over his sickly frame. He'd never played- never been allowed, never told why, but it's not like he hadn't heard the whispers of doctors and nurses about what a shame, a boy of his age not able to play ball for the exertion and excitement would kill him.

A tender hand on his shoulder and knowing smiles from the team brought him to reality, Tony silently praising his grand decision to bring them here today. Thor bit back the urge to inquire of food as the ticket taker let them in the stadium half an hour before opening the gates to the public, thanks to a picture with the Avengers seven, signed for his eight year old son.

Suddenly, Clint leapt up in the air, pointing at a system of tubes by the escalator. "TASHA A MAZE!" he shouted quickly, dashing toward the play area dubbed "The Phillie Phantic's Phun Zone". Loki and Pepper facepalmed as the rest of the team, save Coulson, Bruce and Steve, dashed toward the worker running the so called "Phun Zone". They retreated, noticing the very large sign indicating that you must be less than **THIS** tall to play in the fun zone.

"Twenty years too late, huh, Stark?" Steve flippantly commented.

It visibly pained Tony to not retort but was saved when Coulson suggested they tour the stadium. Tony thought the stadium was weird, how the seating didn't circle the entire stadium, leaving a section of the back of the outfield without a wall, although it did show a fantastic view of the city skyline. He wondered mostly about how the fans ever did the wave. First they're too short for the "Phun Zone", now no wave? What fun was this place?

Clint got once again excited when he saw a "run the bases" game where the player stepped on a platform and ran in place to have their marker run around the bases.

Needless to say, Steve, with his enhanced speed, dominated the round, leaving Clint to mumble a few profanities before Nat gave him a glare strong enough to kill a man.

They headed on to their VIP area, Steve mesmerized by the way the stadiums had, yet hadn't changed. You could say it _marveled_ him. He was particularly fascinated by the Hall of Fame Club, the dining area behind their box seats. The blue walls were covered with baseballs and old bats served as railings. Bats and home plates also decorated the bars and service stands. Steve, along with a majority of the team, sans Tony and Pepper, were awestruck by the detail of the model stadium sealed in a glass box.

"Betcha twenty dollars I could break this glass and walk away with the Liberty Bell," Clint whispered to Steve, pointing at the model of the huge Liberty Bell in the outfield. Steve wasn't quite sure what it was doing in the stadium in the first place but shot Clint a glare regardless.

Thor strolled down the hallway, admiring baseball after baseball nailed into the wall. He ran his finger tips along the baseballs ever so lightly- at least, he thought he was being gentle as a baseball popped off the wall. Looking around worriedly, he quietly pocketed the baseball, reminding himself to not touch things so roughly, a gesture Loki duly noted and saved for later embarrassment.

Bruce took a great interest in the beautiful paintings in the Hall of Fame, paintings of the stadium and stadiums past, paintings of people like Jackie Robinson, and other paintings of Phillies players in the Cooperstown Baseball Hall of Fame. Even the carpeting was intricate. And once Bruce realized he was admiring the _carpet_, he resigned to it being a long night of keeping baseball-induced stress _off_ his chest.

Loki was quite bemused by this whole ordeal. Baseball, unlike some of the traditional Asgardian sports, was something he was finding to be _quite _interesting. And then, this whole hall dedicated to people of importance in the world of baseball. He found himself marveling at the story of Jackie Robinson, albeit his curiosity as to exactly _why_ he was treated so due to his hues. He thought it best to ask after the game, thinking Steve might want to know too, considering the whole story took place during his time as what Tony so mockingly called a "Capiscle".

Coulson and Pepper weren't bored, per say, just in a state of relaxation. It was comical how each of the Avengers, Earth's mightiest heroes, were somewhat awestruck by something as simple and commonplace as a baseball stadium, rather than raise hell about _whatever_ it was this time. Sure, they had both been to baseball games, probably seen hundreds on the television, but they had never been in the luxury of the Hall Of Fame either.

And of course Tasha was at ease, seeing potential weapons in the baseball bats lining bars and glasses within her reach, even the soda jerk's hose could be a formidable weapon. Her inspection of the hall was not complete without taking notice of Pepper's well concealed handgun, which Nat approved of with eye contact and a small nod. Pepper was horrible about being coy about such things, at least, she was to the master of deception as well as the God of Lies.

After touring the gift shops, composed mostly of merchandise bearing a enormous, fluffy, green monster on it dubbed "The Philly Phanatic", they decided it was time to head back to their seats. Steve was still bemused over the fact that this "Galapagan species" was a _mascot for a baseball team_. He wondered how many other species had been discovered when Thor once more brought up the point that the Phanatic looked somewhat like a neon green, hornless bilgesnipe when Loki had protested for the umpteenth time that there was no such thing as the Phillie Phanatic, only a man in a costume, which led a small child in the hall to tears.

Making their way back to their seats, the team fully absorbed the view, sinking into their seats and just gazing into the city. By this point, the sun was low over the skyline, painting most buildings in pinks and oranges and illuminating others from behind. Clouds swirled across the sky in a mix of pink and blue and red and yellow, breezing by like feathers. Even the Asgardians, who grew up in a city of gold, sat back in their seats and watched the reddened sun sink below rowhomes and skyscrapers alike. Not one of them made a move for a camera, a "no-filter" for Instagram and Facebook. They all absorbed the view, cherishing the moment with the mismatched group of nine.

That is, until the enhanced sense of smell of Asgardians, super soldiers, and assassins alike caught the drift of food towards them. Pepper clapped her hands together with a jokingly annoyed expression that read something along the lines of "way to kill the moment guys" as Coulson stood and grabbed a beer as he realized he was in for a long night.

Loki moaned his way through the pre game ceremony, not quite getting the whole "World Series" thing. How could you call it the _World_ Series if the teams in the running consisted of most of the United States and _one_ Canadian team? Every state didn't even have a team! And how was the Canadian team on the American League? It wasn't the _North _American League! Loki shook aside his questions, resigning himself to no more pondering foolish things and just waiting for the game to start.

Steve was paying attention to the ceremony, he really was, but he was slightly confused about a few things. First off, why were they booing this guy? Coulson had informed him that he was the general manager, but why would they boo him then? And who were these kids? Why were they allowed on the field? Pretty soon Steve was 100% confused- as per usual- and, like Loki, just wanted the game to start.

The prayers of the two were answered as the singers of the National Athem entered, a large chorus of girls from Washington. "Washington State?" Steve thought. "Surely they did not come from the other end of the country..." But Steve's thoughts trailed off as the girls began to sing, lovely voices floating through the air. He was enchanted, having never listened to the song since he became Captain, only hearing it during his propaganda sessions and not having a chance to _really_ listen to the tale of war.

Even Loki and Thor, not being from this country, never mind this world, had to appreciate the beauty of this song. They would have to ask The Captain about the circumstances of the patriotic ballad at a later time.

The song finished, leaving the speakers to continue to play pop music as the lineups were introduced. Only Tony didn't clap, muttering something similar to "only the weak clap" before Nat and Pepper both elbowed him so hard he felt his organs move.

Over the course of the game, tensions were clearly high, with choruses of "YOU SUCK!" and "HIT THE BALL YOU PANSY!" to "DROP IT DROP IT DRO-FUCK!" and "CAAAAAAATCH IIIIIIITTTT-YES!" Even Pepper was getting slightly riled up, leaving Bruce to calm himself through deep breathes and sugar, and a beer in each of them didn't quite help.

It was only when Steve nearly had an aneurysm that things got out of hand.

Someone below the box shouted, "HEY MOTHERFUCKER, YOU SWING THE BAT, NOT THROW IT IN THE CROWD!" after a broken bat was sent flying and nearly decked an older woman. Firstly, Steve was appalled at the use of such language in an arena with children and was slightly stunned. Secondly, he was even more disgusted at the causal use of said word. And thirdly, he was morbidly and completely disturbed should anyone actually partake in said doings. It took Coulson, Tasha, Clint, and Tony to hold him back and a backhand from Pepper to keep him in check while Bruce tried even harder to keep calm and Thor and Loki puzzled out whatever that meant.

Clint and Tasha were a thousand percent positive that the Phillies were gonna blow this one. With the bases loaded, two outs, a full count, and three down in the bottom of the ninth, they were sure that _someone_ would blow it. They almost got their "wish" when the batter popped a foul ball into nearly home room territory, refraining from cursing out for Steve and Bruce's sake. But alas, the batter made contact, stopping and staring as he dropped the bat, the key everyone knew to be that he'd hit a homer. The leather ball soared through the air, flying through the now black night sky and plummeting into the stands to an eruption of cheers. The Liberty Bell in the outfield chimed loudly, startling Steve, Thor, and Loki but answering their question. The teams cheered as the batter rounded third to connect with the entire dugout, who had convened at home plate. Adorned with shaving cream pies, he presented the manager with his commemorating 1000th win home plate to roaring applause.

"JARVIS, make a note of that prank," Tony attempted to whisper to his watch.

"Will do, sir," JARVIS replied rather loudly and sarcastically, drawing the attention of the group.

Tony chuckled nervously as four eyes of assassins and two eyes of godly mischief narrowed at him.

Pulling the car up to the rented house, Pepper yanked open the doors of the van to find each and every single Avenger, including Coulson, passed out in the seats. She decided to work her way from the front, starting with Coulson. She placed a fingertip on the gun on his hip, causing him to jump to life and grab her wrist before realizing her predicament. Clint and Tasha, not only agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. but assassins as well, took only a simple tap on the shoulder before they grudgingly trudged into the house. Steve took a small shake of the arm and waited to help bring in Bruce to avoid waking the Hulk instead of the doctor. He helped them jostle Loki on the seat before he snapped an eye open in annoyance. They conveyed to him that _nothing_ woke up Thor before Loki jolted him with a spark of magic, sending him leaping out of the car much to the amusement of Phil and Loki. Thor shuffled away to help Steve bring in Bruce before Pepper set her sights on Tony. She looked to Loki and the god nodded, sticking a finger in his mouth and then Tony's ear.

Tony's girlish shriek could be heard for at least a mile around.

"That's what happens when you tell JARVIS to make a note of pranks."

**A/N: So I hope this was some super cute fluff for y'all! Consider it my apology for those of you waiting for updates, I'm having a little trouble keeping on schedule, especially with school starting after Labor Day. Updates may be far between, but hey, it's fanfiction! All Hallows' Eve, my Big Time Rush fanfiction is currently in the works of rewriting from Big Time Halloween and I have an Avengers full length fanfiction. **

**In case it was not clear, I am actually a Phillies fan. I have no grudges against any team mentioned in here, although, sorry Yankees fans, I was actually at a game in New York where A-Rod pretended to toss up a baseball to fans behind the dugout, leaving the kids scrambling for a ball that wasn't there. **

**No copyright infringement was intended and I do not own any of The Avengers or Major League Baseball or Citizens Bank Park. **

**This is set in Loki-being-possessed-by-the-Tesseract/controlled-b y-the-Chituari-and-The-Other/abused-by Thanos/whatever-floats/your-ship AU/reality. **

**Also, regarding the manager, I began writing this before Charlie Manuel, the old Phillies manager, was fired. He actually did make it to 1000 career wins prior to his release and I was present at the game where they had a ceremony for the 1993 Phillies team, who went to the World Series. I am, in fact, quite disappointed that they fired Charlie midseason, but I can't always have my way. (If I had my way, I'd own The Avengers.)**

**A special shout out to herethereeverywhere for the Bruce almost destroying Shea Stadium headcanon idea!**

**Thank you for reading and reviews are warmly welcomed (although I understand if you're awkward like me and nEVER KNOW WHAT TO SAY)!**


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